The Bible-God Incites Nude Prophecying

Israel’s first king, selected by the Bible-God and his prophet Samuel, was a total basket-case.  If ever the wrong man was anointed as king of Israel, then it was Saul. Never mind the fact that he was selected by the “omniscient” Bible-God, Saul was a total failure.  He was too timid for the job at first.  Later, however, he became power hungry, envious of others’ success, and paranoid.  Even the perfect and omniscient Bible-God realized that he made a mistake in selecting Saul, saying, “I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following Me and has not carried out My commands.” (1 Samuel 15:11).

So what does the Bible-God do to remedy the situation?  Does he strike Saul dead like he typically does to people who tick him off?[1]  No.  Instead, he decides to send an evil spirit to terrorize poor Saul, which makes him depressed and paranoid.  We’re told, “Now the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord terrorized him.” (1 Samuel 16:14).[2]

The evil spirit from the Bible-God that terrorized Saul caused the king to become a terror to the people including a young man named David, the Bible-God’s new selection since he chose so poorly the first time.  Eventually, things become so bad between Saul and David that David has to flee for his safety to the home of Samuel.

Now Samuel is no trained warrior; he’s more like a wizard.  When Saul learns that David has fled to Samuel’s home, he sends messengers to take David into custody.  When the messengers arrive at Samuel’s house, however, they began to prophesy (1 Sam. 19:18-20).  What in the world this means, I don’t know.  But this weird event happens a second time and a third time until finally, Saul comes to Samuel’s house to detain David himself.  This is where it gets really weird:

He also stripped off his clothes, and he too prophesied before Samuel and lay down naked all that day and all that night.  Therefore they say, “Is Saul also among the prophets?” (1 Samuel 19:24, NASB)

Just imagine what this scene might have looked like!  Grown men, including one king in his birthday suit, are prophesying before ol’ Samuel.  Why did this even happen? Why did the Bible-God not just speak directly to Saul, correct him for his mistakes, and punish him with his zapper?  Why not send lions to attack him as in 2 Kings 17:25?  Or warn Saul through a talking donkey as in Numbers 22:28?  Are we really to believe that Saul just stripped naked and started prophesying?  And what does that even mean?

The whole scene sounds like an ecstasy induced rave.  I don’t know about you, but I can just imagine the Bible-God in heaven poking the angels and saying, “Watch this!” as the heavenly host laughs hysterically.  The whole story is ridiculous and insulting to the God of the universe.  It might be true of the Bible-God, but I don’t think it’s true of the Creator God.[3]

 

[1] Korah, Dathan, Abiram and their households along with 250 other unnamed men (Num. 16:31-35), Nadab and Abihu (Lev. 10:1-2), Uzzah (2 Sam. 6:7), Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11), etc., etc., etc.

[2] This isn’t the only time that Yahweh sends evil spirits to cause men to stumble.  See Judges, 9:23, 1 Kings 22:22, 2 Chronicles 18:21, Isaiah 19:14, 2 Thessalonians 2:11.  Yahweh actually commissions evil spirits to cause people to sin, regardless of what Moses and James says about it (Deut. 13:1-4, James 1:13).  We’re warned about being misled by people performing signs and wonders today (Matthew 24:24).

[3] You can see a major inconsistency in the story of Saul at this point.  Where exactly did the phrase, “Is Saul among the prophets?” originate?  1 Samuel 10:11 says it happened when Saul was first anointed to become king of Israel.  Apparently the author or authors forgot about this and attributed the saying to Saul naked prophesying in 1 Samuel 19:24.  So which one is it?

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